Hoseok
It’s Saturday morning which means it’s almost time for me to be replaced by Minji and Yun. It’s still six in the morning but they tend to come early. They usually bring their Uni stuff and they talk to her a lot about that. Last time I saw Minji reading a story to her - some children's story about a girl who got lost and Yun was talking to her about some new recipe she is trying. I know both girls have taken it very hard but refuse to show it. They’re trying to be strong for us and comfort us in whatever way they find possible.
I look at Yoona as I hold her hand. ‘Good morning love. Today is the 23rd of March. It’s Saturday and it marks four weeks since you fell into a coma.’ I say with a sigh as I hold her hand to my mouth. I plant a soft kiss on her palm.
‘You’ve always been so stubborn Yoona.’ I say as I close my eyes for a moment. ‘I miss you Yoona. I miss your jokes. I miss your smile and the way you used to tease me.’ I say as I squeeze her hand. Suddenly, I feel her fingers twitch. I jolt up as I look at her. For a moment, I wonder if I imagined it before I feel them twitch again. ‘Yoona… baby… can you hear me?’ I whisper.
I try not to overwhelm her and not be too loud. My heart is beating like crazy right now. I watch her as she slowly opens her eyes. Her eyes seem to dart around before they land on me. I see her breathing quicken as her face contorts. In her eyes I don’t see recognition – I see blankness and I instantly know something is wrong. No… no… baby no… don’t say it… just don’t say it.
‘Wh-who are you? Where am I?’ She asks as she begins to breathe quickly as she pulls her hand away. The monitor that shows her heart beat starts beeping like crazy as she begins to panic. It’s like she’s starting to hyperventilate or go into a panic attack, like the one Minji had when Jungkook threw her in the pool. I quickly ring the bell as I try to approach her. ‘No… no stay away… stay away from me.’ She screams.
‘Okay okay I will but please calm down.’ I say as I take a step back. My legs feel like jelly and my knees feel weak. All I want to do right now is curl in a ball in a corner somewhere and just stay there. ‘You don’t remember me?’ I ask and she stares at me before she shakes her head. The doctor and a couple of nurses come rushing in.
‘Miss Sung you’re finally awake.’ The doctor says as he approaches her. She stares at him and then at me and then back at the doctor.
‘I’m at a hospital, aren’t I?’ She asks and the doctor nods. ‘Why? What happened? Why can’t I remember? Who is he?’ She asks, one question after the other.
‘Okay I need you to calm down. I know it’s scary so listen to my voice, okay?’ He asks and she nods. ‘You were in a car accident. You hit your head really hard. You’ve been in a coma.’ He explains slowly.
‘Coma? How long?’ She asks, sounding surprised.
‘Four weeks today actually. Do you remember your name?’ The doctor asks and she nods.
‘Sung Yoona.’ She says and the doctor smiles.
‘Good. That’s good. Okay Yoona, things may be confusing for now. It’s okay, don’t worry. We’ll figure things out slowly.’ He says and she nods. She goes to move when her face start to show alarm again. Her eyes go wide, her lips part and her eyebrows arch close together.
‘Why can’t I move my legs?’ She asks. It breaks my heart hearing so much panic and fear in her voice. ‘Why can’t I move my legs?’ She screams. That’s the final thing she says before I feel the tears flowing down my cheeks. During the four weeks she’s been in coma, I tried to keep myself from getting too emotional. I kept trying to keep positive and just focus on her waking up. Yet, now the two things we feared are both happening.
Parts of her memory are gone or at least distorted and her legs aren’t working. For a moment, everything becomes still and silent until her hysteric crying brings me back to reality. I look at her and try to approach her.
‘Yoona…’ I whisper. She seems to hear me as she looks at me. Her eyes are big and it’s as if they are begging me to give her something.
‘Who are you? Your voice sounds familiar but I can’t remember! Why can’t I remember!!’ She screams as she buries her face in her hands and begins to rock herself. I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like for her. It must be so confusing and if it’s confusing it must be scary. I rush to her side and take her hands in mine. She tries to pull it away but I don’t let her.
‘Focus on me.’ I say. She looks at me, still breathing hard. ‘It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember me right now. All you need to know is you’re not alone. I’m here with you every step of the way.’ I say. I see her gulp and then look at me.
Her eyes seem to fall on my bracelet which is a simple chain with a keychain with ‘hope’ written on it. The bracelet was actually the first gift she ever gave me. ‘Hope…J-Hope.’ She murmurs and I nod as I feel fresh tears.
‘Yes, that’s right.’ I say. ‘Many people call me by that name.’ I add as I look at the doctor. The doctor motions for me to go outside so I let go of her hand and follow the doctor while the nurses start to check her out. ‘She remembered my stage name. That’s got to be a good sign right?’ I ask and he nods.
‘The fact that she has an idea of who she is is already a very good sign Mr. Jung. Right now her mind is confused. Imagine you had just a very weird but very real dream. You wake up and everything is distorted and you find it difficult to figure out what is dream and what is real. It’s like that.’ He says.
‘She saw my bracelet and remembered my stage name.’ I repeat and he nods. ‘If she sees other things, they might trigger her memories right?’ I ask and he nods once more.
‘Most likely. There might still be some memories she doesn’t remember so you’ve got to take it easy. Don’t try to rush her. She’s dealing with a lot – her body is still healing and she just realized her legs aren’t working the way they’re supposed to. It’s a lot to take in, especially for a young, professional woman like herself who lives for dance.’ He explains and I nod in understanding. The last thing I want is to make it worse for her.
‘Thank you, doctor. I’ll inform the others that she is awake and of the situation.’ I say. He gives me a thumbs up while I sit down on the plastic chair.
Hobi: Guys! I have some good news and bad news.
Minji: Is she awake??
Jiminie: Did she wake up?
Joonie: Hyung tell us what’s going on!!
Suga: Start with the good news. We could use some good news.
Hobi: The good news is Yoona woke up. She's even speaking.
Jin: Finally. Aish I’m so happy.
Taehyungie: Ohh finally. How is she feeling?
Yun: Wait… you said there’s bad news too.
Kookie: Was going to ask the same question. What’s the bad news?
Joonie: Is it about her memory?
Hobi: She’s awake but she didn’t recognize me… at least not completely.
Jin: What’s that supposed to mean?
Minji: Her memories are distorted….
Hobi: Yeah. She didn’t recognize me but she did recognize my bracelet and then she managed to associate it with J-Hope but she doesn't remember who I am at all right now.
Joonie: That’s a good sign though, right? I mean that she remembered 'J-Hope?'
Minji: Yeah it is. It’s like doc said last time… it could be temporary.
Suga: Is there something else we should know?
Hobi: She couldn’t feel her legs at all….
Taehyungie: What??
Jiminie: No… please tell me you’re joking hyung.
Hobi: I wish Jiminie… the moment she realized it she started crying and screaming.
Hobi: It broke my heart to see her so afraid.
Suga: I can't even begin to imagine how scary it is for her.
Kookie: It makes me sick just thinking about it. Is there anything we can do?
Hobi: I was hoping you'd all come here. Maybe seeing all of us together helps her remember something.
Joonie: I was thinking the same thing.
Jin: Yeah .... look the boys and I are coming over in a few minutes. We’ll continue talking there.
Minji: Yun and I are almost there as well... we're running a little late...
Yun: We'll meet you by the entrance.
Suga: Okay.
I put my phone away and go back inside. She looks calmer as she breathes regularly. The nurse nods at me as she leaves while I walk closer to her. She hears me approaching and looks at me. ‘Can I sit here?’ I ask, pointing to one of the chairs there and she nods. ‘I know it’s probably stupid to ask this but how are you feeling?’ I ask.
‘I don’t know. I mean I'm not in any pain right now, except my head hurts a bit sometimes. I feel confused. I feel like my memories are jumbled up and I can’t make sense of what is what.’ She says. ‘And then there’s the issue with my legs. Did you know I have a big chance of never walking again?’ She asks as she lets out a bitter laugh – a laugh which keeps breaking my heart even more. I feel my lips starting to tremble and I look away. ‘I must be pretty important to you, aren’t I?’ She asks and I turn to look at her again.
‘You are.’ I say in a shaky voice. ‘You’re really important to me and to a lot of other people Yoona.’ I say.
‘Did we…’ She begins but stops as she bites her lower lip. She closes her eyes as if she is trying to make out the memory before she opens them again. ‘Did we ever dance in the rain on some roof?’ She asks. I gulp as I feel my chest tighten. How ironic to remember that but not our kiss or who I am. This time I can’t control myself as the teardrops begin to fall. ‘I’m guessing that’s a yes. Are you… are you my boyfriend?’ She asks and I sigh, not sure what to tell her but I know that it’s important to tell her the truth.
‘We were together. You broke up with me so you could focus on your career and family but we remained really good friends. We still loved each other but you needed some time to figure some personal things out.’ I say and she nods.
The door opens and her mother and brother walk in. They look at me and I take a step back. I see Yoona look at her brother as she blinks her eyes several times. ‘I know you… I can’t remember who you are or your name but I know you…’ She says. I see her starting to get agitated as her breathing starts to quicken once more. ‘Someone kissed me and you tried to stop them and they beat you up. They kept beating you up.’ She says. Baekhyun’s eyes go wide and I gasp.
My mind starts to make the connection as I recall what Minji had said. His hand was broken in a very particular way and they had lied about how she found him but that’s not important right now.
‘Noona…’ He murmurs as he goes closer to her. She keeps staring at me. ‘Don’t you remember who I am?’ He asks and she shakes her head. ‘I’m your little brother…’ He says in a broken voice. ‘I’m so sorry noona… I’m so sorry.’ He says as he breaks into tears.
Yoongi
We meet the girls at the lobby as we all go up together. We walk into the room to see Yoona in bed, sitting up as she looks at us. For a moment I forget the memory issues and the walking issues – I just look at her, grateful to just see her awake. These past four weeks have been hell for everyone especially Hoseok. I’m grateful to have had Yun comfort me. Whenever I felt like I didn’t want to burden the guys, I just went to her. She’d let me vent out my worries and fears without ever stopping me.
‘Noona.’ Jungkook says, forcing me out of my thoughts. Yoona looks at us with a confused expression.
‘Do I really know all of you?’ She asks. There it is – the question that breaks my heart. I see Jungkook trying to keep himself from getting emotional but it’s hard, not just for him but for everyone. I see Namjoon and Jin exchanging a look. Jimin looks away, trying to hide the fact that he is getting teary eyed. Minji notices and holds his hand. Taehyung stares at her, a look of disbelief on his face as if he is still refusing to accept the situation which is that Yoona does not remember us!
Suddenly her face goes blank as she closes her eyes. I see her trying to focus as she tilts her head to the side. She taps her fingers in a certain rhythm as she begins to hum to Blood, Sweat and Tears. I smile as I realize that although she may not remember us for now, she remembers our music - she remembers her connection to us. If we can get through that, we can get to her. She opens her eyes and looks at each one of us. ‘Do you guys… dance?’ She asks, sounding unsure.
‘Yeah… we do noona. You’re our dance teacher.’ Taehyung says calmly. She blinks her eyes as her mind keeps working on something. She begins to count and then smiles.
‘Seven… there are seven of you right?’ She asks and I nod. ‘You sing too right? I keep hearing songs… it’s like my brain is a radio. It keeps playing songs.’ She says.
‘We’re um… we’re idols.’ I say and she nods. ‘You’ve been with our group for six years and you’ve choreographed all of our dances.’ I say.
‘Ahh I see. Makes sense. I keep hearing the same voices in the songs.’ She says as she bites her lower lip. I look over at Hoseok who is in the corner, eyes fixed on her but he keeps quiet. She looks at the girls and then smiles a bit. ‘You brought food, right?’ She asks and the girls both nod.
‘Yeah we did Unnie.’ Minji says. Yoona looks at her and then at Jungkook and then back at Minji. ‘What is it Unnie?’ She asks her.
‘Are you two siblings?’ She asks. I open my mouth wide as I see her make the realization. To think about how it all actually started – with Jungkook mentioning he has a sister and Yoona setting up the meeting between the two. If it wasn’t for Yoona, he might not even have found her by now.
‘Yes, we are. Twins in fact.’ Minji replies, her voice going on a slight break as she looks at her. Yoona nods and smiles. ‘You actually helped me find my brother.’ She adds.
Yoona
The group stays for a while before they leave, well, everyone except for Hoseok. Something tells me he won’t be leaving any time soon. As we continued to talk, I kept remembering bits and pieces – almost like some things were falling into place.
It was like watching episodes from a drama but you skip on parts and you watch it on silent with no subtitles so you have to try and make sense of it all. I remember faces and certain scenes with them but I don’t remember the names or what the scenes mean to me.
It really made me sad as I saw their faces – full of anticipation only to drop in disappointment as they realized I didn’t remember. Everything feels so foggy and I don’t know how to separate and make sense of each memory. Yet, I felt a certain sense of ease and happiness with them.
As we talked, I felt safe surrounded by them. I could feel their sense of care and love towards me and for a moment it made me disregard the fact that I can’t remember certain things and the fact I can’t move. I look over at Hoseok who is sitting quietly looking at me.
Something about him doesn’t just feel familiar… it feels right. I don’t even know how to explain it. It was from the moment he tried to calm me down – the way he held my hands so securely, the way his voice grabbed my attention. It made me feel safe. It made me feel like I can trust him.
‘Is everything okay Yoona? You’re staring at me.’ He says with a slight nervous smile. I nod as I play with the bracelet around my hand.
‘Can you take me out of here? Maybe go around a bit?’ I ask wanting to get out of this room for a little bit. It feels suffocating being in here, especially being unable to move without needing to ask for help. He gives me a small smiled and nods.
‘I’ll go get a wheelchair.’ He says as he leaves the room quickly. I look at his figure – tall, slender, strong strides, straight posture – intimidating but gentle. What a contrast of a man!
Speeding cars…. I’m behind the wheel… speeding away but someone is chasing after me… fear… why am I so afraid?
The scene disappears as quickly as it comes. I frown, trying to make sense of it all but I can’t. Why did I feel so afraid just now? My head starts to hurt as I try to make sense of it. I close my eyes and place my hands against my temples, hoping the headache doesn’t get worse. The door opens again and I look up as Hoseok walks in with a wheelchair. ‘Hey are you okay? Is your head hurting?’ He asks. I can hear the worry in his voice.
‘A little bit but it’s okay Hoseok. Should I be calling you that?’ I ask and he smiles.
‘You can call me anything you want. Are you sure you want to go out? Shouldn’t you rest?’ He asks.
‘I’ve been in this bed for four weeks and I’ve been sitting here like a duck the whole day. The only time I got off was when the nurse took me to the bathroom.’ I say. He nods and comes to the bed and puts his arms under me.
‘Don’t worry, I won’t drop you.’ He says. I look at him – his eyes are beautiful. They’re so expressive! I can see the many emotions in the way he looks at me – relief to see me awake and heartbreak because I don’t remember him.
‘I know. I trust you.’ I finally blurt out. He stops and looks at me and I give him a small smile. ‘I don’t know how to explain it but I have this feeling that I can trust you.’ I say. He lets out a small smile before he gently puts me down on the wheelchair. He starts to wheel me away down the corridor and takes me to the elevator.
We eventually reach the garden and I sigh. ‘I’m sorry that I can’t remember you. You seem like a pretty nice guy and you’re handsome too. I must have been really happy to be with you and really crazy to let you go.’ I say.
‘You had your reasons Yoona and you might not remember this but I promised I’ll wait for you. I still plan on holding to that promise.’ He says and I nod.
‘I’ll work hard on remembering you.’ I say and he nods once more. I see him smile – this time a big genuine one. It’s a beautiful smile which is infectious. It makes me smile as well. ‘I know this might be awkward or a little too straight forward but did I ever tell you that you have the most beautiful smile ever?’ I ask and I hear him laugh – the first time today and I smile, feeling like I have succeeded.
‘Yeah… it’s one of your favourite things about me. You used to tell me that my smile could light up a city. I’m glad you still find it attractive.’ He says, causing me to chuckle lightly. We stay silent for a moment before I see a butterfly passing by. A melody starts to play in my mind as I start to hum along to it. ‘That’s Butterfly… one of our songs.’ He says and I nod before I sigh. ‘What is it?’ He asks as he keeps pushing the wheelchair forward.
‘Hoseok… was I in some sort of trouble before all this happened?’ I ask.
‘What do you mean?’ He asks and I shrug. ‘Do you remember something?’ He asks again, trying to prod me gently. A part of me seems to scream at me to keep my mouth shut but my heart tells me to trust him.
‘I just keep thinking about that memory with my brother. It doesn’t feel complete and then I remembered being in the car and speeding but it felt like I was running away from someone.’ I say. He stops moving, his hands freezing on the handles. ‘Hoseok?’ I ask as I turn my head. He finally shakes his head and kneels down before me as he takes my hand in his.
‘Yoona, I want to be honest with you. Last year, your brother got in some mess because he loaned money from loan sharks. You paid his debt and faced them. Two weeks prior to the accident, your brother got beaten up pretty badly – his face was all messed up and his hand broken. You and your brother weren’t saying what really happened – you said he called and you found him but the boys and even Minji and Yun – we all know you were covering what really happened.’ He says and I frown.
‘Why would I do that? Shouldn’t I have gone to the police or something?’ I ask confused. He takes a deep ragged breath and nods. ‘But I didn’t. There must have been a reason, right?’ I ask.
‘That’s what Minji said. Minji said it might be the same people as before and she thinks you were being threatened to keep your mouth shut or people close to you would be hurt. She even thinks that that’s why you broke up with me – to keep me safe.’ He says. I bite my lower lip as I try to digest the new information. ‘We remained friends obviously like I told you but I tried to keep my eyes on you. Even the others. You took part in a competition and when you won you disappeared. None of us know where you went and the next thing we knew you were in a car accident and in a coma.’ He says.
‘So there’s a gap? Between leaving the competition and ending up here? The only piece that fits is the piece with the car?’ I ask and he nods.
‘The cops said you were speeding and not wearing a seatbelt. Tests showed you weren’t under any influence but the cops disregarded it as reckless driving and declared it as an accident but we’ve had our doubts. This kind of confirms our suspicions that something serious must have happened in between.’ He explains. I feel the fear starting to creep back in and I feel as if I’m about to lose my breath. ‘Yoona? Yoona what’s wrong?’ He asks as he squeezes my hands.
‘I… I don’t know… I just feel really scared.’ I say as I feel the tears starting to fall. ‘I can’t remember what happened and I can’t even move to try and defend myself.’ I say and he nods as he hugs me. I wrap my arms around him as I hold onto him as if I am holding on for dear life.
‘I know baby… I know you’re scared but I swear I won’t let anyone hurt you again. I’ll protect you this time, I swear.’ He says again as he kisses my head.
Boss
I sit in my office tapping away with the letter opener. It’s a reminder of what that * did to my face which now has a scar running across it. ‘So, sleeping beauty is awake now huh?’ I ask and Chi Won nods.
‘Yes, she is. I followed her and Hoseok to the garden. I kept my distance so they wouldn’t see me but I could overhear their conversation. Hoseok and his friends, especially Minji it seems are already guessing she owed money. From what I heard, Minji is a bit of a problem herself because she’s the one who’s making the connections. Yoona doesn’t remember a lot of things but she does remember the car chase but I don’t think it will be too long before she remembers everything.’ He reports and I nod.
‘I see. While she was in a coma, I couldn’t do much without drawing suspicion but now she’s awake and she might remember what happened. I can’t have that.’ I say.
‘What do you need me to do sir?’ Chi Won asks and I smile. This boy is really proving his worth. It was a good decision to forgive his debt and employ him with me. He’s driven and hungry to succeed and climb the ranks but this is more complicated.
‘What do you think needs to be done?’ I ask and he smirks.
‘Get rid of her.’ He replies tilting his head to the side. ‘She’s been in a coma for so long but the moment she woke up, there were complications.’ He says with a shrug and I smile.
‘Right on boy but you’re too inexperienced for this for now. I need someone who has done this before and who won’t leave traces behind.’ I say as I start thinking of the person I need. ‘You’re dismissed for now. Keep guard on her and report back to me.’ I say. He bows his head and leaves and I take out my phone. I look for his number as I dial it. He answers after a few rings.
‘Mr. Lee… it’s been a while. How have you been?’ He asks.
‘I’m good but I have a bit of a problem on my hands.’ I reply and I hear him chuckle.
‘Who do you need me to get rid of?’ He asks and I smile. He’s always been efficient and someone I can rely on – given the right amount of money. He’s clean and does the job properly.
‘Her name is Sung Yoona. She’s at Severance Hospital. We’ve had a bit of an incident and right now she doesn’t remember. I need you to make sure she doesn’t remember permanently but be careful – one of her friends is Kyung Minji – the D.A.’s daughter. I’ve heard about her – she’s smart and already making her way to me. I can’t get rid of her easily because of her father.’ I explain.
‘Understood. We’ll do the usual for payment? Four million won deposited into the account as deposit and eight million upon her head.’ He says.
‘Yes, of course. I expect good results as usual.’ I say before I hang up. I switch off my phone and put it back in the drawer. I stand up and grab a cigar which I light up when I hear the door opening. I look up but I relax as soon as I see Mr. Oh.
‘Ah it’s you.’ I say. ‘Whiskey?’ I ask and he nods as he sits down.
‘Sure.’ He replies as I get two glasses and pour some whiskey for him and me. ‘You look preoccupied. Is everything okay?’ I ask.
‘Ye-yeah it’s just work stuff on my mind.’ He says but he doesn’t sound so convincing. I shrug it off – I know Oh – if he doesn’t want to talk about something he won’t. We’ve known each other all our lives but there are things that he doesn’t share, not even with me. ‘What about you? Everything okay with you?’ He asks pointing to my face and I scoff.
‘Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?’ I reply with a smirk. ‘I’m always one step ahead Oh. Always.’ I say as I raise my glass of whiskey. He nods and raises his own glass as we clink them together.